My Work Station at Home

A few weeks ago, I wrote about forming writing habits and the different types of work stations that people use. Since I am home in Connecticut for the summer, I am back to using my desk in my bedroom for most writing tasks.

My desk really only functions as a surface because it has no drawers and is an open top desk but I never open it—my room is kinda crowded so the less space it takes up, the better! My desk always looks the same. I keep my laptop in or on it's case. I keep at least one or two notebooks where I plan out writing schedules or daily tasks. My purple day calendar, a cup of coffee, a glass of water, pens and pencils, and the book A Reader's Book of Days by Tom Nissley are always at hand.

It's a crowded space and I can really only do one thing at a time, which might be a good thing. When I work here, I turn off the over head light in my room and use a standing lamp. The area is kind of dark but I prefer this kind of lighting than the bright over head. In the summer, I'll open one of my bedroom windows to get a light breeze. It also helps me feel less guilty about being closed up in my bedroom on a beautiful summer day like today!

While I feel comfortable writing here, facing my wall, I do hope to get myself out of my comfort zone when it comes to writing. In the post I mentioned above, I wrote about an author who can write anywhere and anytime. I feel like I struggle with that. I can't write from a couch because it feels too casual and unfocused. I get distracted if I'm writing in the same room where people are doing other things. If I don't start writing in the morning, I feel like I can't get into the groove later in the day.

Some writers are similar to me in that they have a specific schedule and setting for writing because their lifestyle is conducive to that and that is great! I would like to be able to adapt to any setting and be able to crank out words regardless of time and place because I feel like that would be better for my lifestyle. I live in a sometimes crazy household; I live with my wonderful mother, my jokester grandfather, and a few pets. My sisters are in and out from their own nearby apartments and cousins stop by because we have a very open door policy! That's why I feel I need to adapt to anything. I'm far from an established writer and I can't be picky about how and when I write. I just need to write!

What do you guys think? Can you write anywhere or do you need certain things to fall into place? Any tips for learning to write anywhere?

Pre-Cana Part One

I wanted to write a little bit regarding the first Pre-Cana class AJ and I took last week. In order to be married in a Catholic Church, it's a required course that the couple must complete before the wedding. Our class was held at the Catholic Center in Bridgeport and was led by a lovely volunteer couple who had actually met for the first time at that very place for a church function!

There were about 25 couples there and most of them were young and around the same age as AJ and me. We were each given a work book that contains chapter summaries and questions. We went through the first four chapters which covered: matrimony; family of origin; romance, disillusionment, and joy; and sex and sexuality. At the beginning of the each chapter, the leaders would introduce what the chapter would discuss, then we would watch a video clip that featured other couples as well as priests or deacons who spoke on the subject, and then our leaders would share their own story. Then we would have about 20 minutes to do the workbook pages on our own and then share our answers with our fiancé.

It was a really interesting exercise and, if you took it seriously, you could get a lot out of it. I loved sharing my answers with AJ and seeing his. Since taking the class, people have asked us if we learned knew things about the other but we didn't really because it wasn't about getting to know your partner better, it was more about seeing how connected you were on certain topics. The exercises showed me that AJ and I are on a good track, that we're on the same page, and that we have good communication. We were very comfortable sharing our responses with each other and we were honest with everything. It led to some very interesting and helpful discussions on our long car ride to the Cape that followed!

The chapters that was the most interesting to me were the second and third. The second one discussed how we bring baggage from our childhood and family life into marriage and into our new family. The chapter shared how to make this transition smoothly and how to recognize what things from the your family of origin could affect your marriage. AJ and I had different upbringings but were raised with the same family values.

The third chapter spoke about the fact that after you go through the romantic phase of your marriage—the honeymoon phase—you can fall into something called disillusionment in which romance might be swept aside and your relationship is different than it was when you were first married. This happens to everyone, I imagine, and this is the stage in which a lot of people think it means that there marriage has gone bad and they decided to divorce. However, it's a stage that everyone will be faced with and it can be worked through. Once you get past the stage of disillusionment—and this stage could reappear or take years to muddle through—you come out with a stronger marriage that is even better than it was the day you were married!

I really enjoyed going to the class and I look forward to the final class next weekend. It brought out a lot of really great discussions for AJ and I, we even discussed the possibility of joining a marriage group within our church when we get married. It would be a great foundation and good way to make sure we always take time out to focus on our relationship.

Stories of Women by an Emerson Alumna: A Book Review

I can't believe I haven't written about this collection of short stories yet! I really enjoyed it and I read it while we were living in Boston. The collection is called The Isle of Youth and it was written by Laura Van Den Berg who graduated from Emerson College with an MFA in creative writing!

I met Van Den Berg at the Emerson Graduate Accepted Student Event back in early April. She was there to represent alumni and to give possible future students a taste of what could be with an Emerson education. Let me tell you, it was a smart move on Emerson's part to invite Van Den Berg to the event. I had been feeling a little iffy regarding grad school, and every so often I would wonder if grad school was the best next step for me. Meeting Laura Van Den Berg, sitting in on her reading, and hearing about her success since graduating just about made up my mind and whenever I start to doubt my decision, I think of Van Den Berg.

The Isle of Youth is her second collection of short stories and was published in 2013 by Farrar, Straus & Giroux. Her first collection, What The World Will Look Like When All the Water Leaves Us, was published in 2009 and I have yet to read it but would really like to! Her first novel, Find Me, will be published in February 2015.

Anyway, to the book review! The Isle of Youth contains stories about women that are dealing with similar issues. Deception is the common thread that holds the stories together. While some of the stories can be repetitive, I didn't care because the prose was so good! The characters were interesting and so different from the norm that it's almost like they are from another world, and I think that may be intentional. The stories are far fetched, the narratives of the characters' lives aren't always probable but Van Den Berg's writing makes the stories credible and real.

Each story has a strong and crazy catch. There's a honeymoon that starts with an plane crash, a magician's assistant deals with mama drama, two sisters try their hands as private detectives, a group of young cousins pull off bank heists, a sister searches for answers about her brother's death in Antarctica, and, in the title story, twin sisters dangerously swap lives.

I highly recommend this book because the stories are intriguing, different, and easy to read. Even AJ read one of the stories, Acrobats, aloud to me following Van Den Berg's reading! And if you don't take my word for it, The Isle of Youth was just shortlisted for the Frank O' Connor Prize.

The World Cup and Us

AJ and I started dating towards the end of the last World Cup so with the start of the FIFA 2014 World Cup, it kind of marked a milestone in our relationship. 

However, that wonderment was short-lived as a few weeks ago AJ told me we might not be seeing each other for awhile once the games began. I am the fiancée of an avid soccer fan and that means I too must partake in game watching. Earlier in our relationship, I tried harder. Many times I sat down on the couch with him as Manchester United players took the field. I sat there and pretended to know that the goal didn't count because Rooney was off side, but I still have no clue what off side means and I don't think anyone really does! 

No matter the effort and well-meaning attempts I made at watching a full game, I always fell asleep by half time without fail. I stopped pretending to enjoy watching and I started bringing a book when I knew a game would be on. 

But now, we are in World Cup season and this means too many games to keep track of are stealing AJ's attention. There is always a game on, it would stress me out to try to keep track of what games to watch and who is winning. Yes, I will miss AJ these next few weeks, but I'm content in knowing that this only comes every four years. And, even if it's short-lived, the FIFA World Cup will always be a nostalgic marker and memory in our relationship. 

The above and below photos are of AJ intently watching the England Italy game this evening, as I talk at him. 

Adolescent Life in the 1950s: A Book Review

As I said last time I wrote about this book, Chocolates for Breakfast is a literary treasure. It was published in 1956 by its 18 year old writer, Pamela Moore. The author has a rich and sad history which is worth learning about before or after reading her first novel.

Many people read books to experience a life that is so different from their own. That is one of the reasons that I picked up this book and those people who read to experience will love this book. The main character, Courtney, is followed through her final days at boarding school in New England, to Southern California where she lives among movie stars, to New York City where she has affairs with heirs and Ivy League graduates.

Courtney's struggles with growing into adulthood, dealing with depression, and learning to understand herself are struggles that every human being should be able to relate to, and Moore so easily displays these problems. The writing is so black and white even though Courtney's emotions and thoughts are not. Moore creates a vivid world where the reader can smell the cigarettes that are constantly being smoked and you can almost feel as hung over as the characters often are just by reading their well-crafted, morning-after dialogues.

The cover design and back cover copy is misleading in my opinion. It makes the book seem like a typical, every day young adult book about teen angst in a privileged society. It's much more than that. It is incredibly and devastatingly realistic. It is perfectly written an never once falters in tone or content.

It's unfortunate that the book was out of print for so long, especially considering its bestselling status in the decade following the publication. Book lovers should collectively rejoice at the fact that Harper Perennial reintroduced this better-than-the-classics novel. Every word and scene will stay in your mind after reading this book and it is incredible to think that it was written by a teenager, although that fact is probably what makes it such a good read.

The author, Pamela Moore.

Vacation Roundup

It's always annoying when fun and relaxing family vacations have to end. There is something about Cape Cod that, the minute I drive over the bridge, I know I'm on vacation and that it will be a wonderful time. Every year is great in it's own way and after 22 years of visiting Chatham, I know I will never tire of the small, sweet beach town. 

 Our last few days in Chatham were spent playing no less than 20 rounds of competitive Scrabble, soaking up the sun on the deck, taking long walks around the neighborhood and to the beach, and walking through town and shopping occasionally.

 I love getting to share this family tradition with AJ now. I can't wait until we have our own family to make even more memories with in Chatham.

 Our last dinner was eaten at home and shared with my mom and godmother. It consisted of Trader Joe's crackers, a variety of cheese, carrots, hummus, and delicious fruit salad. This was eaten between rounds of Scrabble and was followed up with rich chocolate from Chatham Candy Manor.

 AJ drove the whole trip home today. It took us just about 4 hours and I only nodded off for 10 minutes. We left around 10 am after sharing bagels and coffee while sitting on a towel at Hardings Beach, another one of our bagel traditions.

 Tessi rode home with us, too. She slept the entire way in her bed on my lap. It's always a funky feeling, getting back into the groove of regular life after being on a vacation for a while so I'm trying to throw myself back into life rather than ease into it. I already did some unpacking, I have my second load of laundry going, and I'm heading off to Zumba in an hour.

Tomorrow I have to restock the kitchen and get some writing done!

My Happy Place

Every year we come to Cape Cod, to Chatham, specifically. Every year I say, I wish I could live here everyday. The days here are perfection.

I wake up early and look at the ocean from my bedroom window before I come outside to the front deck. Here we have Dunkin Donuts iced coffee every morning while we soak in the early morning sun. This morning it was sunny but breezy enough that I needed a sweatshirt. 

For lunch, we make cold cut sandwiches and eat them on the deck, too, with Cape Cod potato chips and bread and butter pickles. Homemade fruit salad is always sitting in the fridge. Whole days can be spent laying in the sun on the deck, like yesterday was. Or they can be spent walking down Main Street in town, window shopping or grabbing a piece of chocolate or fudge at Chatham Candy Manor. Dinners are made up of seafood and fresh vegetables. Dessert is usually fruit and maybe an ice cream cone once or twice. 

Walks on the beach, in the burning sand, are a necessity and a way of life. Bunnies running into the manicured hedges are commonplace but always exciting. There's time to read in peace. There's no better place to read and there's no better place to be. 

But if I lived here year round, I wonder if some of the magic would fade. It's my happy place one week out of the year and I am able to keep any unwanted baggage from joining me in this trip. But after a few weeks here, the realities of everyday life would set it and while the beach is probably the best place to deal with life's truths, I'm content with this being my paradise.