We Did It!

On October 11th, AJ and I tied that knot! It was wonderful and amazing and perfect and all those things that a wedding should be! We were very lucky to be surrounded by our friends and family—we had an absolute blast and it was all even better than I could have hoped for.

Of course, I have a million photos and plenty of stories to share but it's late and I still have 8 more student papers to grade—I've been playing major catch up all week. I went from Thursday to Monday without doing any school-related work and I can feel it. And I want to watch How To Get Away With Murder in 20 minutes—is anyone else watching that show? I recommend it!

For now, I'll leave you with just a few photos. I'll do my best to get up a more comprehensive (without being boring) post tomorrow depending on how much work I can get done. Tomorrow afternoon my sister and her boyfriend are coming to visit for the weekend so I'll be pretty busy and preoccupied this weekend too!

at our reception at The Waters Edge at Giovanni's

because every millenial needs a wedding reception selfie

and a wedding party selfie—although this is only part of the group

it's the little things

the whole group

the morning after

and one of my favorite wedding gifts

Some Thoughts for Tuesday

August is already going by just as quickly as June and July did! To make matters crazier, AJ and I only have 3 weeks left in CT before moving on up to Boston. Time flies, right?

Some early bridal shower presents are starting to pop up at the front door. I keep telling myself to wait for AJ to open them but that only lasts a few minutes. Luckily, he doesn't mind because he knows how I am with surprises and presents.

Speaking of the groom, we got to try on our wedding bands last night! My future in laws offered to get us wedding bands from Peru and AJ's grandmother brought them with her when she arrived last week. They are both beautiful, yellow gold bands that are engraved. Mine has AJ's first and middle names along with our wedding date. His has my first and middle names and date, too. The gold in Peru is different, it's 18K rather than 14, so the color is different and so pretty! I like that my band is the same color and from the same place as AJ's mother, aunts, and grandmothers. I'll be like all the other Mrs. Cabreras before me!

My sister came home from NYC this weekend, she had been in Egypt forever. It was so nice seeing her and spending time with her. Next weekend I'm going to stay with her in the city.

We celebrated my grandfather's 85th birthday with pizza and trifle made by my grandmother. I've never tasted her trifle even though she makes if often—the combo of weird ingredients and textures always turned me off but I tried it this time and it was pretty good!

My amazing godmother, Net-net, spent the majority of the weekend at our dining room table, addressing our wedding invitations in her perfect script. She was loving it and is so meticulous about every letter, number, and punctuation. I'm so lucky to be having so much help from family members with all the wedding plans, it makes everything a bit more meaningful!

Babysitting got messy today. We constructed and painted a doll house for the girls' Barbies and now my arms are dotted with white and blue paint.

4 Years

July 25, 2010

July 25, 2011

July 25, 2012

July 25, 2013

July 25, 2014

Exciting Things to Come

July is almost over, but there are still a lot of things that are happening before month's end!

This Friday, the 25th, is mine and AJ's four year anniversary! I'm excited to celebrate with him and I have some fun things planned!

The following night, some of AJ's family from Peru is coming for a visit. His grandmother is coming and staying through until after our wedding. Also coming are AJ's aunt, uncle, and two younger cousins who will be here for 3 weeks. The Cabreras don't get to see their extended family very often so it's so nice when they get to visit! Every night feels like a party when everyone gets together and I'm sure this visit will be no different. AJ's aunt, uncle, and cousins that are coming are some of his family members that I haven't met yet and I'm looking forward to getting to know them!

On Sunday, AJ's sister is celebrating her 15th birthday. Her real birthday was at the beginning of the month but since more family will be in town, they were waiting to have an all out celebration! If you already read about my future mother-in-law's cakes, you'll know that the party will include a delicious cake, lots of food, and surely some dancing.

Obviously, I'm looking forward to this weekend and I hope you are too! What are your plans?

A Quick Trip to NYC

I really don't love New York City. I used to be a bit fascinated by it before I moved to Connecticut. The first few years I lived here, AJ and I would take trips into the city to see a ballet or go to the Met for a class assignment and that was fun. But the last few times I've gone into the city, I haven't enjoyed it. In fact, it often makes me stressed and annoyed. This is probably because I don't like feeling crowded and rushed and the city is filled with fast paced people and that's ok!

There are some really great things about the city, though. The interesting food trucks and restaurants are beyond compare. There is tons to do and see. There are bookstores I could happily live in and I love the lions at the public library. Also, my sister has a cute little apartment near Grand Central so going to visit her is easy and fun.

Today, my mom and I hopped on a train in the morning, grabbed a cab outside Grand Central, and went to the Upper East Side to visit my mother's cousin, Gloria. She's lived in the same apartment in Park Ave for years and years and has a spectacular view. She's a phenomenal artist—she made our save the dates and today we worked on our wedding invitations with her! She already had quite a few made up by the time we got there so all we had to do was iron out details, play with the wording and fonts, and decide on envelopes and table cards. I'm so glad that we've been able to do this part of wedding planning with a family member. It's made it much easier and so stress free!

We ordered a slice of pizza and a salad each from a nearby Italian place and ate at Gloria's table staring out at Park Ave—all the photos are taken from her balcony. We talked about family members we haven't seen in a while and reminisced about family members that are no longer with us. I didn't meet Gloria until 2011 because our family is so huge, but I feel like I've known her forever. I'm so thankful that she has been doing all of our paper goods for the wedding because not only is it easier on us, but it has allowed me to get to know her even better!

We spent a few hours with Gloria, most of them spent chatting because we got the invitations done so quickly. We made promises to visit again soon and Mom and I were back in a taxi (getting carsick fast) to Grand Central. We luckily got an express train so the ride was faster than usual! I picked up an iced latte from Zaro's Bakery for a little treat—it made my mom nostalgic for the years when she worked in the city long ago because she got breakfast from Zaro's at Grand Central most days.

I started reading a new book, Trains and Lovers, yesterday and I read the entire ride both ways so I'm close to finishing again. Expect a post on it soon as well as a review of The Bell Jar. Tomorrow, I'm going back to New York, but to Yonkers this time, to meet with a videographer. We haven't booked one yet and time is running out!

I'm so glad it's Friday and I hope everyone's weekend is off to a great start! Any fun plans for the next few days? Do you have any opinions on New York City?

Every Fourth

July 4, 2010 was an important day for AJ and me. It was the second time that we spent time together, it was the day we first kissed, and the day we both kind of knew we wanted to be together. And as fate would have it, we've spent every July 4th together since.

The photograph on the left was taken July 4, 2010 and it is the first photo we ever took together. On the right is a photo from this past 4th, our last one together before we are married.

I've never been a huge fan of the fourth of July because I don't like crowds and I don't like the traffic that the fireworks at the beach brings. I feel like there's a lot of pressure to have the best time drinking, eating, and setting off fireworks. But this year was good. We spent the day with my cousins' house, having a cook out and avoiding the rain. We finished the night in the wine cellar, sharing a bottle of red and good stories.

Like I said, it's not my favorite holiday but I like the 4th for another reason now. It's a reminder of when AJ and I started our relationship and with each passing year I feel luckier and luckier that we did.

Pre-Cana Part Two

On Sunday, we finished up our Pre-Cana course in Bridgeport at the the Catholic Center. I was looking forward to it more than the first class because I knew what to expect and I was interested to learn more and have more conversations with AJ. We covered four more chapters in the workbook and class went from 9-2.

The first chapter that we read had us discussing our love languages and how to learn the best way to interact with each other. My primary love language is AJ's secondary love language and my secondary language is his primary so we're pretty close, but then again both of us found that we have preferences in all 5 languages.

There were also discussions about having children and how God leads couples to this. A young couple came in with their two small children to tell us about how God played a large role in the decision, for them, of if and when to have kids. The other chapters covered things such as dealing with finances and debt, growing your relationship towards God together, and family life.

Another important topic we talked about was the vow that is made when you promise to take your husband or wife for better or for worse. This was my favorite chapter of day two and a large part of the discussion was on apology because it is necessary in maintaining a long, happy, healthy marriage. The workbook said that the most important words a spouse can say are, "Will you forgive me?" I can see why that's true. Being married to someone means taking someone as they are, forever. It goes without saying that the couple will have issues, arguments, and misunderstandings that could leave them upset with each other for hours if not days and weeks. But marriage and the life that two people create together is far more important than an argument or disagreement. Couples have to try their hardest not to let anything cause a rift between them, and the best way to do this is to practice apology and to truly move on from the issue once one person apologizes and the other forgives. Apologizing is hard, but we learned that the first to apologize is the bravest and the first to forgive is the strongest. Sometimes, people don't feel like they did anything wrong and therefore refuse to apologize. On the other side, sometimes a person is hurt so badly by what their spouse has done that they feel it is unforgivable. But in a marriage, it's essential that one person puts their ego aside as the other puts their desire to hold that grudge aside. It's hard but it's the best thing you can do for a marriage. Not only will it help heal the marriage, but it will make the relationship stronger when the couple finds that they are able to move past a difficult time together. You'll feel happier and at peace knowing that, as a couple, you can get through anything. I think that this was the most important part of the day and the part that I will focus on deeply. Praying also helps when one has to either apologize or forgive.

I'm bummed that the course is over so fast. My mom said she doesn't know anyone who enjoyed Pre-Cana as much as AJ and I did but we went in with a really open mind and both of us love having discussions like the ones that were prompted in class. We hope that we can find a way to continue these types of discussions and hold onto what we learned as we moved towards marriage.

You can read an article that I wrote a few months ago about apologizing for Collective Lifestyle here.

The World Cup and Us

AJ and I started dating towards the end of the last World Cup so with the start of the FIFA 2014 World Cup, it kind of marked a milestone in our relationship. 

However, that wonderment was short-lived as a few weeks ago AJ told me we might not be seeing each other for awhile once the games began. I am the fiancée of an avid soccer fan and that means I too must partake in game watching. Earlier in our relationship, I tried harder. Many times I sat down on the couch with him as Manchester United players took the field. I sat there and pretended to know that the goal didn't count because Rooney was off side, but I still have no clue what off side means and I don't think anyone really does! 

No matter the effort and well-meaning attempts I made at watching a full game, I always fell asleep by half time without fail. I stopped pretending to enjoy watching and I started bringing a book when I knew a game would be on. 

But now, we are in World Cup season and this means too many games to keep track of are stealing AJ's attention. There is always a game on, it would stress me out to try to keep track of what games to watch and who is winning. Yes, I will miss AJ these next few weeks, but I'm content in knowing that this only comes every four years. And, even if it's short-lived, the FIFA World Cup will always be a nostalgic marker and memory in our relationship. 

The above and below photos are of AJ intently watching the England Italy game this evening, as I talk at him.