Christmas in Connecticut

My blog-silence over the weekend was due to the fact that, after working for two weeks without a day off, AJ took a few days off so we could spend a long weekend in Connecticut with our families. After a yummy dinner at Boloco, we hopped on Amtrak and got to Stamford around 10. AJ's dad picked us up with Christmas music on the radio and took us to his house where we slept and caught up with AJ's family.

The next morning, I ran some errands with my mom and had lunch with her before we picked up AJ again and headed to Kiwanis Park in New Canaan for our tree! This has been our tradition ever since we moved to CT. Everyone at Kiwanis is a volunteer and the money you spend on the trees all goes to donation. The trees there are all perfect and we usually end up buying the first one we see. This time, we got one that's about 6 feet tall and very full! The volunteers strapped it to the top of the car and we headed to my grandmother's house nearby to pick her up so she could spend the night at our house.

Once we headed home, we realized that the tree was probably not going to make it home so AJ opened the sunroof, grabbed the tree by the trunk, and held onto it that way for the rest of our drive home. It also started hailing at that point so we all got a bit pelted with ice but it's all in the name of a good tree!

We spent the rest of the day decorating the tree and my mom's house while watching Elf. My sister came home from Manhattan, too, to help decorate.

I'm really glad that we were able to go home to pick a tree and help my mom set it up. It's one of my favorite things to do and AJ and I have been doing it every Christmas since we met. I'm glad we could keep it up! I know my mom appreciated the help, too, and it wouldn't have felt like Christmas without picking out a real tree and stringing it with lights!

We had so much fun being home with our families and tried to fit in as much fun time with them as possible. Thankfully, AJ was able to workout his schedule so that we can be home for Christmas, too! We'll head home late on the 23rd, spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day in Connecticut and head back first thing on the 26th. I know we're lucky that even though we live in a different state than our families, we're still relatively close to them and it's an easy train ride to get home. But we are both so close to our parents and siblings that we feel we can never see them enough! We're very lucky to be able to go home when we can and we are especially blessed to be able to spend this holiday with them.

I hope all of you have great plans for this Christmas!

What I'm Thankful for This Year

The title of this post is probably a misnomer because these are things I've been thankful for in the past and that I will be thankful for in the future. In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I want to share the (many) things I am most thankful for in my life.

My husband, of course. And I'm thankful that we are spending this holiday together as man and wife for the first time! I'm thankful for our relationship and the love he gives me. I'm thankful for the way we work as a team and for the conversations we share on a daily basis.

My family, including my amazingly wonderful mom, my two sisters, my grandparents, my in-laws, my many cousins, and all the friends who are more like family than friends. This year has really shown me how much love my family has for each other and I can't believe how lucky I am to have so many great people in my life.

My education, past, present, and future included. I went to a great public school in Minnesota that taught me so much. The university I went to for undergrad is where I learned to love learning and where I cultivated my interesting in writing, reading, and academics. And now, I am pursing my master's degree and I am really enjoying what I am learning and studying.

This place where I live. Boston is a fun and inspiring place to live. There's so much to do and see. It's a city that really feels like home and I'm happy to be spending my newlywed years here with AJ.

Lastly, I am the most thankful for the fact that the things I just listed are daily blessings and that I am able to be thankful for them all year round. Let's all strive to give thanks every day for our many blessings and for all the moments that make life wonderful.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING to you and yours! Enjoy this day with family, friends, and loved ones who make you happy!

September Update

I've been neglecting my blog again! I hate when this happens—and it seems to keep happening—because once I go a few days without blogging, it becomes even harder to get back into it! But I'll try to now.

The past few weeks have been buys ones for us. Two Sundays ago, AJ went back to CT for an appointment he had and stayed there for 5 days until I met him there. I went back on a Thursday after class and stayed until the following Monday morning. While there, I had a few appointments to tie up some wedding details and spending time with the people I missed. On Monday, Mom drove AJ and me back up to Boston. I brought quite a few more shower gifts and more clothes to have here at the apartment so it took me a little bit to unpack, not to mention I had a lot of homework to get done over that weekend.

We had a few days to get settled back in and then this past Friday, AJ's parents, siblings, and grandmother came to visit! We spent this weekend showing them around the Public Garden and Boston Common, eating at Quincy Market, going to Mass, eating Upper Crust Pizza on the roof, and spending time talking and hanging out together. It was really fun and it's hard to believe that the next time we'll see them it will be at our wedding! Which is 20 days away, by the way. Crazy!

AJ's family just left about two hours ago and we promptly fell asleep watching football. Tonight we're going to a Black Keys concert and tomorrow we'll be back to our normal routine. It's crazy how quickly the time is flying by.

I hope everyone had a great weekend!

Currently Reading: Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay

Yay! I've been waiting for a while to finally read this book and now that I have it and it's available in the US, I'm not wasting any time! I finished reading Russian Winter last night (spoiler: it was great. I'll post on it soon) and I began Elena Ferrante's final installation of her well-known Neapolitan Trilogy.

I'm already so engrossed and invested in this story of two friends, Elena and Lila, from having read the first two installations—two books that I suggest everyone read. Ferrante's writing is exceptional. She explores the true elements of a sometimes hurtful, sometimes inspiring friendship. She writes of Naples and Italy in the 1950s and 60s in such a way that it becomes real and relevant to today's world.

I find myself getting genuinely excited for Elena, the narrator of this story, when she finds out that her fiancé has been offered a tenure professor job at a university in Florence in the first few pages of this book. It's not always easy for me to feel the emotions of a character I read about, but Ferrante writes in a manner that makes it feel as if this excitement is part of my own life, as if this is happening to a close friend of mine or even to me!

Another reason that I love this story so much is because of Elena, the narrator's, life. She was born into a family that is preoccupied with hard work, not education or self improvement. Elena has always felt that she is in the shadow of her best friend, Lila, even though Lila only has an elementary level education and has been stuck in an unhappy marriage and now finds herself a single mother, working in a sausage factory. Elena, however, graduates high school and goes to a university in Pisa. She writes a novel, based on her childhood and her Neapolitan neighborhood, that is quickly published. Further, she finds herself engaged to an intelligent professor with a good, strong family. But somehow, her friendship will Lila constantly causes anguish and will always cause her to doubt herself and the life—far away from their Naples—she has chosen.

I love the fact that Elena succeeds, that she becomes highly educated though she comes from a community of people who do not necessarily support or encourage it. I love that she finds herself as an accomplished and well-recieved author. I love all of these details and I can't wait to see how they unfold through this last book of the trilogy.

I'm sure I will read it quickly out of sheer enjoyment, but I will miss it when it's done and when Ferrante has written all she can about the lives of Elena and Lila.

A Reading Challenge

I am the kind of girl who looks forward to the start of each school year and since I'm starting graduate school this year in a new place, a new city, with new people, and a new focus, my excitement has only tripled! As soon as I got to register for classes in July, I checked for any updates on my class schedule multiple times per day, hoping and waiting to see what classes I would be put into. I wanted to know what time my classes would be and where they would be held and who my professors would be so that I could try my best to visualize what these next three months of my life would look like.

When I finally got my schedule and eventually my teacher assignments, I researched them and found that I was already familiar with my fiction workshop professor, Daphne Kalotay. My mother gave me Kalotay's novel, Russian Winter, for Christmas two years ago and it has since sat on my shelf waiting to be read. I was extremely surprised and delighted to find that I would be studying under a writer whose work I was aware of and who I  knew was an accomplished and respected writer.

My first day of class with Daphne Kalotay is just under a week away and I've given myself a goal of reading all (or as much as possible) of Russian Winter by the start of class. It's a long novel, pushing 500 pages, but its content is intriguing and it jumps between settings—one of which is Boston—so I know that I will have no problem staying focused and interested. Not to mention AJ and I are in that place where we are waiting for time consuming distractions (school for me, work for him) to take over so I should have ample time to read, read read!

I'm Back...In Boston!

I haven't been able to blog in the longest time! I've missed it! But I think I have a decent reason for being so preoccupied. AJ and I moved back to Boston! Just yesterday in fact, but the last two weeks or so were dedicated to packing, squeezing in wedding planning, and tying up any loose ends before leaving the great state of Connecticut (we already have plans to go back in two and a half weeks, but still)!

So I've been a little distracted and a lot busy lately. We arrived in Boston yesterday afternoon after packing my Jeep to the brim with suitcases and bags. There are so many things we want to bring so that we actually feel settled and like we're living here full time but a car can only handle so much at a time. Luckily for us, our families plan on visiting and will be able to bring us more stuff and we'll pack up some more things when we go back in September for a long weekend.

Once we got here, my mom and I started organizing and making more space while AJ ran to the market across the street for sandwiches. We ate a quick lunch and as soon as we were done, the unpacking began! Surprisingly, we unpacked all our bags in just a few hours! I think we did it so quickly this time because we had a plan, unlike last time. We brought some things down to the storage container in the building's basement—such a luxury for us—and then napped for maybe 2 hours. We had a late dinner of delicious pizza from Upper Crust (which is right in our building!) with red wine before calling it a night.

And we've gotten a lot done today, too! First thing this morning, AJ headed to the gym to set up a membership and then ran to CVS for some things we desperately needed, like toilet paper. I have to get some blood work done—boo—before school starts so when AJ got home, we went down to the health center to set that up. Then we walked to Marshall's to get hair clippers for AJ and a tooth brush holder for the bathroom but I couldn't leave without getting a pumpkin scented candle. Fall is coming!

We came home, dropped everything off, and then headed back to the market for a sandwich. We walked across the footbridge to the Charles River Esplanade and shared our sandwich while sitting on the water. It is a beautiful, hot summer day out there!

Now, we're resting inside. There's a game AJ wants to watch at 3 and there's some reading and writing I want to get caught up on. Later this afternoon we'll go to the gym to get a workout in and then we'll have pasta for dinner—because we really have no food in our pantry at this point. A trip to Trader Joe's tomorrow will certainly change that!

I have a lot of posts planned for the blog coming up, including one about my surprise bridal shower last week and more books posts about what I'm reading and what I've bought. At some point I will also do a little apartment tour and I'm sure Boston posts will be plentiful very soon!

Some Thoughts for Tuesday

August is already going by just as quickly as June and July did! To make matters crazier, AJ and I only have 3 weeks left in CT before moving on up to Boston. Time flies, right?

Some early bridal shower presents are starting to pop up at the front door. I keep telling myself to wait for AJ to open them but that only lasts a few minutes. Luckily, he doesn't mind because he knows how I am with surprises and presents.

Speaking of the groom, we got to try on our wedding bands last night! My future in laws offered to get us wedding bands from Peru and AJ's grandmother brought them with her when she arrived last week. They are both beautiful, yellow gold bands that are engraved. Mine has AJ's first and middle names along with our wedding date. His has my first and middle names and date, too. The gold in Peru is different, it's 18K rather than 14, so the color is different and so pretty! I like that my band is the same color and from the same place as AJ's mother, aunts, and grandmothers. I'll be like all the other Mrs. Cabreras before me!

My sister came home from NYC this weekend, she had been in Egypt forever. It was so nice seeing her and spending time with her. Next weekend I'm going to stay with her in the city.

We celebrated my grandfather's 85th birthday with pizza and trifle made by my grandmother. I've never tasted her trifle even though she makes if often—the combo of weird ingredients and textures always turned me off but I tried it this time and it was pretty good!

My amazing godmother, Net-net, spent the majority of the weekend at our dining room table, addressing our wedding invitations in her perfect script. She was loving it and is so meticulous about every letter, number, and punctuation. I'm so lucky to be having so much help from family members with all the wedding plans, it makes everything a bit more meaningful!

Babysitting got messy today. We constructed and painted a doll house for the girls' Barbies and now my arms are dotted with white and blue paint.

"Everything She Said Was Like A Secret Voice": A Book Review

I've had trouble writing this review. I've been trying for a while, probably a few weeks by now, but this is a difficult one. I think what is most difficult is the fact that I want to express how relatable the main character, Esther Greenwood, is. But at the same time, I hesitate to say that for fear of people thinking that if they relate to Esther, they must be suicidal or suffer from mental illness. That's not at all the case. 

Esther is in a transitional phase of life. She's in college but it's time for her to think about her future beyond school. She thinks about and disregards the idea of marriage. She thinks about what kind of career she would like. There's so much she wants to do and learn and know, but she feels limited and stuck. 

To be honest, I can't think of a more relatable character than Esther, especially for women who are around my age, in this day, and in this phase of life. Most people graduating college now are facing uncertainty, like Esther. The job market is not great and there aren't many opportunities. Some of us want a lot of things, but are unmotivated to go after them out of fear of failure. Some of us want to learn everything under the sun, but don't know how. 

Personally, I feel a great kinship to Esther. No, I do not have suicidal thoughts and I do not suffer from mental illness. But I am around the same age as Esther. I, too, have writing aspirations and I wonder how that will one day balance with my home life. There are many things I want to do and these desires leave me questioning whether or not I have the tools to do them. I know that Esther and I are not alone in these thoughts and feelings and for that reason, I feel that The Bell Jar is essential read for all women, no matter their age or place. 

The books starts off in quite an appealing setting. Esther has won a month long, paid internship in New York City for a well known magazine. She lives in a hotel with the other interns and gets to go for fancy lunches, attend events, and explore the city. It does not make her happy and she spends more time skipping work events and falling into deep spirals of worrisome thoughts. 

She experiences moments that are necessary in a coming of age tale and, once the internship has ended, she goes back to her hometown in suburban Massachusetts but is eager to leave again. Without anywhere to go, she resigns to a life of sleeping, writing, and worrying about the future. Her writing suffers and she wonders if that is the path she should take after all. 

As Esther's mundane, every day life continues to depress her already fragile mental health, suicidal thoughts penetrate her mind and her every moment. Plath's description of Esther's suicide attempt is haunting, difficult to read, and raw. Knowing that Plath took her own life makes the experience of reading her words on the subject even more striking and personal. 

Further, reading about Esther's time in a mental hospital is so other worldly that it's hard to believe it is the same story that started with the glamorous idea of working for a magazine in Manhattan. The turn and change in Esther's life is, after all, what makes this story truly disturbing, realistic, and saddening. 

The book ends but you get the sense that there really is not resolution. Esther suffers from mental illness and likely always will. She has to live the rest of her life coping with these issues and that is what is the most important takeaway of the entire book.

There are so many more elements to this novel that I have yet to discuss: mental illness, relevancy, feminism, and growing up. I've only given a brief summary with my opinions on this outstanding novel that will always remain relevant in our culture. I hope that everyone who has not yet picked up Plath's novel, the only novel she left for us, will do so quickly. 

I will leave you with my favorite Sylvia Plath quote: 

"Let me live, love, and say it well in good sentences."

Currently Reading: Bellefleur

Most books are best read with a cup of coffee or hot tea. With Bellefleur, I've found that it goes best with a glass of red wine. I think this is because the book is decadent. It's full of luxurious and rich descriptions that are intriguing yet dark. This book is dark, as if every image is shrouded in clouds or a dark shadow.

Joyce Carol Oates, the author of Bellefleur, is the queen of literary gothic writing and this book is absolute proof that she is one of the greatest writers of our time.

This novel, more of a family epic, was published in 1980 but is timeless. It is 729 pages and I cannot offer you a summary of the plot. It is far to complex and is structured unlike most novels, comprised of five books and many chapters. It centers on several generations of the Bellefleur family and their enormous mansion in a mythic place called Lake Noir.

The characters are surreal, as are their actions. They are powerful, exclusive, and mysterious. The small yet distinct character traits are beyond creative: a grandfather who wanted his flesh stretched over a drum, an aunt who is never seen in the daylight, and countless other quirks. The characters are so imaginative and display qualities of magical realism that I find this book mirrors Gabriel Garcia Marquez's One Hundred Years of Solitude. There are small details offered to the reader throughout each page which seem frivolous, but all of them are built upon later and their importance is extracted.

Is is suspenseful and filled with symbolism. It's like a big, epic, literary ghost story. I was reading it in bed the other night and my cell phone vibrated on my bedside table. I was startled so badly because I was engrossed in a particularly suspenseful and frightening part.

I'm still very close to the beginning of the book, especially considering its length, so it will take me quite a while to finish but I'm not in a rush. This is a feat of human talent. I want to enjoy it and carefully read each word to get the most out of this tale. I've mentioned before that Joyce Carol Oates writes her novels out longhand and I can't imagine how a book this long could have all started with a pencil and blank piece of paper.

What to Read Next?

I finished The Bell Jar and then shortly after that I picked up and finished Trains and Lovers. Now I'm faced with the difficult but so enjoyable decision of what to read next. I'm trying to decide between Jane Eyre, Bellefleur, and The Years. I haven't read Jane Eyre in a few years and I've been wanting to read it again for a while now, but I feel like books I've never read take precedence. There's only so much time to read!

Bellefleur is by Joyce Carol Oates, an amazing writer that everyone should look into if you really want to read great work. I've had this book waiting for me since Christmas!

And The Years, by Virginia Woolf, is one I picked up at a used bookstore for a few dollars when we were in Boston and it's been on my mind since.

All three of the books are a bit long—Bellefleur is over 700 pages—and all of them are probably better suited to be read in the fall or winter rather than summer. But the last two books I read were short and quick so I think it's time I delve back into one that is going to take more time.

I'm leaning towards Bellefleur right now. What do you think? Any suggestions out there?

A Quick Trip to NYC

I really don't love New York City. I used to be a bit fascinated by it before I moved to Connecticut. The first few years I lived here, AJ and I would take trips into the city to see a ballet or go to the Met for a class assignment and that was fun. But the last few times I've gone into the city, I haven't enjoyed it. In fact, it often makes me stressed and annoyed. This is probably because I don't like feeling crowded and rushed and the city is filled with fast paced people and that's ok!

There are some really great things about the city, though. The interesting food trucks and restaurants are beyond compare. There is tons to do and see. There are bookstores I could happily live in and I love the lions at the public library. Also, my sister has a cute little apartment near Grand Central so going to visit her is easy and fun.

Today, my mom and I hopped on a train in the morning, grabbed a cab outside Grand Central, and went to the Upper East Side to visit my mother's cousin, Gloria. She's lived in the same apartment in Park Ave for years and years and has a spectacular view. She's a phenomenal artist—she made our save the dates and today we worked on our wedding invitations with her! She already had quite a few made up by the time we got there so all we had to do was iron out details, play with the wording and fonts, and decide on envelopes and table cards. I'm so glad that we've been able to do this part of wedding planning with a family member. It's made it much easier and so stress free!

We ordered a slice of pizza and a salad each from a nearby Italian place and ate at Gloria's table staring out at Park Ave—all the photos are taken from her balcony. We talked about family members we haven't seen in a while and reminisced about family members that are no longer with us. I didn't meet Gloria until 2011 because our family is so huge, but I feel like I've known her forever. I'm so thankful that she has been doing all of our paper goods for the wedding because not only is it easier on us, but it has allowed me to get to know her even better!

We spent a few hours with Gloria, most of them spent chatting because we got the invitations done so quickly. We made promises to visit again soon and Mom and I were back in a taxi (getting carsick fast) to Grand Central. We luckily got an express train so the ride was faster than usual! I picked up an iced latte from Zaro's Bakery for a little treat—it made my mom nostalgic for the years when she worked in the city long ago because she got breakfast from Zaro's at Grand Central most days.

I started reading a new book, Trains and Lovers, yesterday and I read the entire ride both ways so I'm close to finishing again. Expect a post on it soon as well as a review of The Bell Jar. Tomorrow, I'm going back to New York, but to Yonkers this time, to meet with a videographer. We haven't booked one yet and time is running out!

I'm so glad it's Friday and I hope everyone's weekend is off to a great start! Any fun plans for the next few days? Do you have any opinions on New York City?

Books For Writers: An MFA in Five Books

There have been many times that I've expressed how important I think it is to get writing advice straight from a writer. And I'm about to do it again!

These five books are written by writers for writers and I think they are essentials to any writer's library. In the future I will do a post for each book individually, but for now I want to give you an overview of each. Even though I'm on my way to begin an MFA program in creative writing, I believe that these books will give any writer a good introduction to what an MFA program offers. All of these writers were or are successful and some of them have also taught in MFA programs. If you enjoy writing, are considering applying to an MFA program, or just enjoy learning from authors be sure to check out these books!

Reading Like a Writer: A Guide for People Who Love Books and for Those Who Want to Write Them by Francine Prose. Out of the five books, this is the first one that I received and read. I had been eyeing it once I became obsessed with Francine Prose but I've always preferred reading fiction to nonfiction and I was unsure if I'd enjoy it as much. I got it for Christmas a few years ago and I sucked it up right away! Prose's advice, observations, and her opinions and analyses on other writers are golden. It's like hitting the advice jackpot. Not only is Prose a writer of all genres who has been successfully published many, many times, but she has taught both literature and creative writing in MFA programs. Who better to take writing advice from? Not to mention, the suggested reading list in the back of the book will inspire some serious reading. 

On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King. When you talk about successful authors, you cannot neglect Stephen King. This book allows readers to understand how King became a writer as he discusses his childhood and his recovery from a near fatal car accident. At times it does read as an autobiography but that's exactly what writers want to read from other writers. The tone of this book—confident, laid back, and open—leaves you feeling encouraged and as if you are partaking in a friendly conversation with King. Wouldn't that be a treat? Not only does King give out his wise words, he includes his own extensive reading list, a draft with his personal edits, and some interesting tidbits about his own life. Did you know he's in a writers-only band with Amy Tan? Me neither. 

Aspects of a Novel by E.M. Forster. One of the older books on my list, published in 1956, and reads much differently than the others. This is because the book is really a series of lectures on the different elements that form a story: story, character, plot, fantasy, prophecy, and pattern and rhythm. The writing is very clear and his suggestions are amplified and put to life with the many real examples he uses to prove his points. I include this book on the list because it is more structured and more focused on specific elements that are required for good writing. It's a bit more tangible and Forster's lectures can be put into practice using writing prompts. I also like that this is an older book because it goes to show that the art of writing will always be important and relevant. 

Letters to a Young Novelist by Mario Vargas Llosa. Just thinking about this book makes me happy and makes me want to write. I find that it is also the most uplifting and encouraging book on this list. This book is truly written in the form of letters, intended to encourage a young writer to maintain their creative desire while imparting his wisdom along the way. His insights are original and well-crafted. The book itself is rather thin so it will not take a long time to read, but you will close the book feeling satisfied and educated by a brilliant writer. Also, the length of this book will allow you to read it time and time again and I promise you that you will be driven to do just that. Do not be fooled by the word 'young' in the title. This is not meant for preteen or anything of that sort, it is meant for a writer who might be a novice or who needs encouragement. If that is you, this book will do wonders to the way you view writing. 

Becoming a Writer by Dorothea Brande. While this book is like the others in the way that it discusses prose and writing technique, it focuses more on cultivating good writing habits, reading like a writer, and getting into the psyche of a true writer. Brande claims that any writing problems are blamed on the personality of the writer. It approaches the line of being a self help book, not to improve your writing but to mentally turn yourself into writer. Brande provides exercises and examples that help her readers tap into the unconscious in order to dig deeper creatively. Another old book on this list, it is inspiring because it includes countless pieces of advice to make yourself truly believe that you are a writer. This book is perfect to round off this list. It has elements that are truly unique to Brande's approach on writing advice. 

Currently Reading: The Bell Jar

Remember when I said that Ficciones was not an easy read? It's not an easy read, it is hard. I'm struggling and I'm almost ashamed to say I am setting it aside. There are so many books that I still want to read that I don't want to get bogged down by one that I just can't pull myself through. I'll pick it up again one day but for now I have moved on and oh, what a great book I have moved on to.

I feel like this book is one that all girls should read at whatever point in their lives. I'm surprised it has taken me this long to finally read but I think I am at the age where I can appreciate it more thoroughly.

The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath follows the path of Esther Greenwood, a Smith college student who suffers from depression and mental illness. The story begins when Esther is living in New York City and working at a magazine during the summer before her final year of college. That plot would be story enough, but Plath takes us through Esther's life when she returns home to Massachusetts for the rest of her summer during which time her mental state continues to decline.

I'm over halfway through the book at this point because it is impossible to put down. This morning I had to force myself to get out of bed, not because I was tired but because I just wanted to lay there all day and read about Esther.

The depiction of the way her brain works is clearly drawn and makes her depression understandable. Her suicide attempts are extremely detailed and almost excruciating to read, you feel for her so deeply and you want to help but there's nothing you can do! It's painful but I think it's important for people to read, especially because these scenes are written by a woman who dealt with her own depression and internal demons.

I won't go in to much more detail so that I'm not repeating myself when I write a review once I finish the novel in it's entirety, but this book is very similar to Pamela Moore's Chocolates for Breakfast so if you enjoyed that, you will enjoy book too.

Again, this is a book that many, especially female English majors, have read by the time they hit their twenties and I think that's phenomenal. This is a book that everyone should get their hands. You will find yourself in Esther if you have ever dealt with depression. If you have never had to deal with mental illness, you will be shocked and awed at this depiction of it. I think that in the world today, there is so much discussion of mental illness, that it will do every well to have a great understanding of it. Reading this novel is the perfect way to begin to grasp this issue.

Keeping Up

No, not with the Kardashians. With myself. I'm really proud of the writing I did in June. I love looking at the listed archives and seeing my number of posts grow each day. I love that I greatly increased the number of posts I published from May to June. The number almost doubled and I'm so proud of that!

That's why I don't want to fall back in July. I want to keep up with June. It reminds me of being college. If I made Dean's List one semester, I felt that I had to make it the following semester and so on because if I didn't, it would mean that I had slacked or failed from past performances. It's not necessarily sane, but it's motivating!

So, that's my goal. To write more than the 27 posts I wrote last month while still keeping up the quality of the content. I imagine that this goal will stick as I continue this blogging journey.

What about you? Do you have any goals—blogging or otherwise—for July? I hope your July is off to a great start!

Things to Remember When Writing

1. You can always edit and revise and your first draft should reflect that. Use your first, second, maybe even third draft to get your plot figured out and your characters clear. Worry about the language that will make your piece exciting to read towards the final drafts. Do not try to make your first draft publishable, this will only cause stress and disappointment when you realize that is too difficult a task.

2. Have a plan before you sit down at your computer. Starting with a blank mind and no idea what you want to accomplish in your writing that day is an easy way to make yourself feel uninspired and quit early. I like to take a few minutes with a notebook, write down which story or article I want to work on and jot down a few ideas for a scene or topic points for an article.  I don't always accomplish everything I write down, but I feel that writing—rather than typing—jump starts my brain and creativity. I also find that it can be a good thing when I don't do everything that I write out first because that leaves me with some extra ideas to come back to the following day.

3. Read and don't feel bad about it. I have a hard time just relaxing and reading because I feel like it's a luxury that is taking up time I could use to do something more important. Don't get me wrong, I love reading and I would do it all day if I could! But I always end up feeling guilty about it. This is something I need to stop because all writers will tell you that reading is just as important as writing. It expands your vocabulary, it introduces you to writing styles and stories you would never think of, and it could really help with your own writer's block. Writers need to read so make sure you schedule enough time into your busy day for reading.

There is tons of advice out there for writers by writers and I find that it really helps to keep me focused and motivated when I think about some of these things. It is easy to get discouraged when writing, for many reasons, but these three things keep my mind in the right place.

Do you have any advice for writers or positive thoughts you use to stay focused?

Sunday Morning Musings

It's Sunday morning, and I could use one of these right now. The delicious coffee pictured above is called A Cold Roman, and I got one with my sister at the New Canaan Farmer's Market yesterday. It was delicious! It's cold espresso with whipped half & half which somehow makes it so much sweeter! I wish it came in a bigger cup! 

I'm very tired and a bit bummed this morning. AJ and I had dinner plans with our friends last night and, while it was so great to hang out with them and we had great discussions, the experience at the restaurant was awful. Service was terribly slow, food and drinks were sub par, and the owner did not want to honor the Groupon we bought last week because they had just changed the name of the restaurant...it was really bad business and put a damper on the whole night. It stinks when you just want to have a fun Saturday night out with friends (which we don't really do that often) and the restaurant kind of ruins it. Needless to say, we will not be returning to that place and we will try to stick to the restaurants we've had good experiences with. 

But the night was not a total loss. Like I said, we had great company and great conversation. And after dinner, two of my cousins came over for a sleepover! I haven't had a sleepover since high school and it was really fun to have a night to just hang out and talk with my cousins. One of them is in high school herself and the other is in college so it was fun to chat and see how we're all in different stages of life. I love having family that I can do that with and we talked until 3 am. I'm not used to staying up that late and my body clock wakes me up before 7 every morning so I'm sure I will crash for a nap later today, but it's so worth it to spend time with my lovely cousins! They're still asleep in my basement, actually. 

I'll be seeing more cousins later today at a graduation party and I'll keep today a little slow to just enjoy the sun and the nice weather. Sundays are the best and this sunshine makes it even better!

I hope you are all enjoying a happy weekend! Do you have any plans for this lovely day?

On Blogging: Four Months In

About a year ago I wanted to start a blog but I didn't. I struggled to. I read multiple blogs on a daily basis. I would check the same blog a few times a day to make sure I wasn't missing a new post because I enjoyed reading blogs that much. It made me want my own.

But I didn't know how to make one. I didn't, and probably still don't really, know how to format a website and play with the HTML. I didn't know how I would get readers or what kind of content I'd even post! And because I didn't know any of this stuff, I was scared. I was scared that I would fail and disappoint myself so I just avoided it. But I still never got it out of my mind!

Four months ago, I finally just did it and wrote my first blog post! It made me happy and I kept writing posts. At first, they weren't really posts about anything in particular—they still aren't really, but who cares? I love putting together a simple post and hitting publish. It makes me feel great to have created a little something that's just out there in the online world now. I went on a writing binge last night and the feeling of completing so many posts made me really happy.

I like getting my writing out there, on Collective Lifestyle or other websites that feature articles, but I know that I don't have a lot of readers on my blog. That's ok, because I'm having a lot of fun without readers! If people enjoy reading what I write, great! I'd love for people to enjoy this blog and read it for their entertainment and happiness. But I hope that I would continue to write even if I never gain a following.

June has clearly been my most successful month as far as posting goes. I track my success and progress by the amount of posts I publish and I always try to beat the previous month. February, my first month, was easy to beat. In April, I slipped a bit and had one less post than March and in May, I only had a handful of posts more than the last two months. June is different, because I've really been getting into the swing of writing. I have over 20 posts and the month has not ended quite yet, although it did go fast!

As badly as I wanted to start a blog last year, I'm enjoying it far more than I imagined and I am so happy that I took the plunge to just write and publish! If I want to keep improving upon my number of posts each month, I have a lot of work to do for July! I may have to start posting multiple articles a day.

I'm excited to see where this blog goes and I know that, no matter what, I'll continue to have fun doing exactly what I'm doing right now!

My Work Station at Home

A few weeks ago, I wrote about forming writing habits and the different types of work stations that people use. Since I am home in Connecticut for the summer, I am back to using my desk in my bedroom for most writing tasks.

My desk really only functions as a surface because it has no drawers and is an open top desk but I never open it—my room is kinda crowded so the less space it takes up, the better! My desk always looks the same. I keep my laptop in or on it's case. I keep at least one or two notebooks where I plan out writing schedules or daily tasks. My purple day calendar, a cup of coffee, a glass of water, pens and pencils, and the book A Reader's Book of Days by Tom Nissley are always at hand.

It's a crowded space and I can really only do one thing at a time, which might be a good thing. When I work here, I turn off the over head light in my room and use a standing lamp. The area is kind of dark but I prefer this kind of lighting than the bright over head. In the summer, I'll open one of my bedroom windows to get a light breeze. It also helps me feel less guilty about being closed up in my bedroom on a beautiful summer day like today!

While I feel comfortable writing here, facing my wall, I do hope to get myself out of my comfort zone when it comes to writing. In the post I mentioned above, I wrote about an author who can write anywhere and anytime. I feel like I struggle with that. I can't write from a couch because it feels too casual and unfocused. I get distracted if I'm writing in the same room where people are doing other things. If I don't start writing in the morning, I feel like I can't get into the groove later in the day.

Some writers are similar to me in that they have a specific schedule and setting for writing because their lifestyle is conducive to that and that is great! I would like to be able to adapt to any setting and be able to crank out words regardless of time and place because I feel like that would be better for my lifestyle. I live in a sometimes crazy household; I live with my wonderful mother, my jokester grandfather, and a few pets. My sisters are in and out from their own nearby apartments and cousins stop by because we have a very open door policy! That's why I feel I need to adapt to anything. I'm far from an established writer and I can't be picky about how and when I write. I just need to write!

What do you guys think? Can you write anywhere or do you need certain things to fall into place? Any tips for learning to write anywhere?

Pre-Cana Part One

I wanted to write a little bit regarding the first Pre-Cana class AJ and I took last week. In order to be married in a Catholic Church, it's a required course that the couple must complete before the wedding. Our class was held at the Catholic Center in Bridgeport and was led by a lovely volunteer couple who had actually met for the first time at that very place for a church function!

There were about 25 couples there and most of them were young and around the same age as AJ and me. We were each given a work book that contains chapter summaries and questions. We went through the first four chapters which covered: matrimony; family of origin; romance, disillusionment, and joy; and sex and sexuality. At the beginning of the each chapter, the leaders would introduce what the chapter would discuss, then we would watch a video clip that featured other couples as well as priests or deacons who spoke on the subject, and then our leaders would share their own story. Then we would have about 20 minutes to do the workbook pages on our own and then share our answers with our fiancé.

It was a really interesting exercise and, if you took it seriously, you could get a lot out of it. I loved sharing my answers with AJ and seeing his. Since taking the class, people have asked us if we learned knew things about the other but we didn't really because it wasn't about getting to know your partner better, it was more about seeing how connected you were on certain topics. The exercises showed me that AJ and I are on a good track, that we're on the same page, and that we have good communication. We were very comfortable sharing our responses with each other and we were honest with everything. It led to some very interesting and helpful discussions on our long car ride to the Cape that followed!

The chapters that was the most interesting to me were the second and third. The second one discussed how we bring baggage from our childhood and family life into marriage and into our new family. The chapter shared how to make this transition smoothly and how to recognize what things from the your family of origin could affect your marriage. AJ and I had different upbringings but were raised with the same family values.

The third chapter spoke about the fact that after you go through the romantic phase of your marriage—the honeymoon phase—you can fall into something called disillusionment in which romance might be swept aside and your relationship is different than it was when you were first married. This happens to everyone, I imagine, and this is the stage in which a lot of people think it means that there marriage has gone bad and they decided to divorce. However, it's a stage that everyone will be faced with and it can be worked through. Once you get past the stage of disillusionment—and this stage could reappear or take years to muddle through—you come out with a stronger marriage that is even better than it was the day you were married!

I really enjoyed going to the class and I look forward to the final class next weekend. It brought out a lot of really great discussions for AJ and I, we even discussed the possibility of joining a marriage group within our church when we get married. It would be a great foundation and good way to make sure we always take time out to focus on our relationship.

Vacation Roundup

It's always annoying when fun and relaxing family vacations have to end. There is something about Cape Cod that, the minute I drive over the bridge, I know I'm on vacation and that it will be a wonderful time. Every year is great in it's own way and after 22 years of visiting Chatham, I know I will never tire of the small, sweet beach town. 

 Our last few days in Chatham were spent playing no less than 20 rounds of competitive Scrabble, soaking up the sun on the deck, taking long walks around the neighborhood and to the beach, and walking through town and shopping occasionally.

 I love getting to share this family tradition with AJ now. I can't wait until we have our own family to make even more memories with in Chatham.

 Our last dinner was eaten at home and shared with my mom and godmother. It consisted of Trader Joe's crackers, a variety of cheese, carrots, hummus, and delicious fruit salad. This was eaten between rounds of Scrabble and was followed up with rich chocolate from Chatham Candy Manor.

 AJ drove the whole trip home today. It took us just about 4 hours and I only nodded off for 10 minutes. We left around 10 am after sharing bagels and coffee while sitting on a towel at Hardings Beach, another one of our bagel traditions.

 Tessi rode home with us, too. She slept the entire way in her bed on my lap. It's always a funky feeling, getting back into the groove of regular life after being on a vacation for a while so I'm trying to throw myself back into life rather than ease into it. I already did some unpacking, I have my second load of laundry going, and I'm heading off to Zumba in an hour.

Tomorrow I have to restock the kitchen and get some writing done!